Mind Your Business- Hell no

I woke up to somebody on my BBM using this as his DP.

  So on my way to work, I thought about this.

Mind my business?? Helllllllll NOOOOOO.

If I mind my business, how can I be aware of gossip around?

 If I mind my business how can I hear the latest?

 If I mind my business how can I know the highest paying jobs? (to find eligible young men, fit for a princess)

If I mind my business, how can I be involved in every other person’s life? (look at it positively)

I refuse to mind my business please.

I want to know who is dating who.

Who has broken up with who?, who has a new job? and who is going for an interview?

I want to know who is vacationing? and with who?

I want to be a minister of information.

                              

                                       

                                            Okay that was my rude alter-ego honest side.

Up next,  is the side I explain to humans to look decent, human and Christian.

If I mind my business, how can I put a smile on someone’s face?

If I mind my business, how can I know if my neighbor is hurting?

If I mind my business, who will pester my friends till they can smile?

If I mind my business, how can I be relevant to the world?

If I mind my business, how do i find fulfillment?

If i mind my business, how can I be me??????

So I decided-   Me keh, mind my business? Lie lie.

Please I want to be very involved.

Justin Beiber became rich because he sang Ushers song, he did not mind his business.

Oshiomole met the young wife because she did not mind her business, maybe she served him on a flight.

Linda Ikeji we all know, because she writes about other people’s life, she did not mind her business.

If you minded your business, would you read my blog? NO (the more reason why you should not mind your business)

In the present world of “me, myself and I”…the issue of minding ones business is deeper than ever. It is suddenly turning to an “I don’t care, whatever”… and this hurts.

 How many times have we sat close to someone hiding tears and just an “all will be well” will go a long way, but we did not even notice.

How many times have we missed an opportunity that we should have jumped on because we are too busy- minding our business.

I do not think minding your business and pock nosing (yes, it is an English word) are the same thing. 

There are limits to everything and I guess we all know to keep the boundaries.

Please mind your neighbour business a little bit. Just be sure they are fine. We owe humanity that much.

No one minding their own business ever did achieved much.

Incase you don't know, you have to mind other peoples businesses to find opportunities and money making ventures. Infact, minding other peoples business is a matter of life.

Check Jesus out. He was everywhere, minding everyone’s business- the sick, the sad and all.

2,000 years later and his majesty still reigns.

 Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther; they all lived minding peoples business and we still celebrate them.

Today I leave with few words- Mind everybody’s business. The thoughts on a Babes mind.

Remember to live, love and laugh.

Nature's Identity Crisis

There is a reason we have holidays, so we can rest from work and have fun.

While fun means different things to different people- Reading a book, watching a movie, cooking and sleeping, I think there is a need to find fun in stepping out, going out to do something. For help on that, please read an earlier article, The Bucket list.

When I was growing up, my family moved to Jos. My elder brothers were in secondary school, leaving my parents, my younger brother and I. Great times.

Every Sunday, after church we would dress in hiking clothes, jeans, shirts and trainers and head to a new rock location that my dad would have spotted over the week. It was an exciting routine.

We would climb a hilly rock for about 30 minutes, with our board games, football, camera and well packed picnic.

I loved those times and I am still drawn to nature.

On my way home for the Easter, I realized that while I do not have all the money in the world(yet) , I still want to travel and see things. I realized that careful planning is all it really takes, 

I want to start from this Christmas (fingers crossed). Life is too short to not see the world (please note that the world starts from outside your door, the world is not in the movies or novels, you have to step out to see it).

A lot of people think they have to travel out and their budget bla bla, but there are beautiful places in Nigeria if you are willing, here are  a few

1. Kajuru Castle Kaduna

2. Yankari game reserve Bauchi

3. Obudu ranch in Cross river

4. Gurara water falls, Niger state

There are also a lot of travelling agencies, Brisk Nigeria, Wakanow, or other deals on deal dey and booking early helps.

And there are a lot more. It is just the 4^th month of the year, and a little dedicated savings a month can take you a long way.

In the love for nature, my friends invited me to head to Gurara water falls in Niger state.

So on Saturday 04/04/2015 we planned to head down. Before the journey began, we went to get a few things we would need. We drove into a store to get them. 

While driving in we read a disclaimer that said loosing the card attracted a fine of N10,000, we laughed at how ridiculous the price was and went in, only to misplace our own card (what is it they say about power of the tongue, lool).

Well to cut the long story short, we spent about an hour sorting it out, by we; I meant the guys, and the ladies remained in the cars. 

(To say it mildly I sat meekly, but I hated that, why could I not be inside with the guys finding a solution and filling the forms. I felt really boxed and I buzzed their phones, but going in meant getting hate eyes from the other girls; who does this girl think she is??? Women issues, to be handled soon) and having some of the guys think this girl is stubborn o, why can't she just sit in the car?).

We (they) sorted that out and hit the road. Just as we got there and were settling, some of our friends strolled further away and we heard screams and my friends came back shaken, someone had just drowned.

We strolled towards the group, young people like us, who had come to have some of natures peace and quiet, they had gone into the water to swim, and as they were getting ready to go, their friend was coming out of the water and started drowning (maybe he lost a footing). 

One of the “water guards” tried to pull him up, but he started pulling him in instead and he had to let go.

Two of my friends and I gathered around the water to pray for a miracle (I still pray will come). The guy never came back up till his friends left, and so they drove home without him. I wondered who will go to his house door to tell his family, 

How would they find the strength to travel home safely?

Its been 5 days and I am still not over it, the times you want to ask God why, but he understand things better.

Talk about an Identity Crisis.

                         

So you love nature but it can be dangerous, tornadoes, tsunamis. Beautiful and yet deadly (talk about trying to figure out your identity) , that is natures war and we cannot stop it, we also cannot live locked because you never know.

With nature; it is a love hate thing.

Nature has its own Identity crisis, to be loving or to be fighting.

To allow them have fun and go or to bring out the evil roar.

Even nature has its own Identity Crisis.

I want to be angry at nature, but I know just like me, it has its own struggles.

Then again, God made the earth (beautiful) but now, the devil runs it (talk about that mean guy, what do you expect)

I do not know if that would scare or encourage you to explore nature, but live while you can, enjoy the beauty of the earth, by all means live life.

I know this is a sad story, feel free to say whatever you feel in the comment box.

also share how you have managed finances to enable you go on  a vacation.

My vacation, story 2, story 1 here

The Vacation part 3 comes up on Tuesday. See you then.

Remember to Live life.

(I hope you start making plans, so by January we can take turns to share vacation stories).

Mental time machine

Why did today have to be Tuesday, because today is one of those days where I just wanted it to rain all day while I lie down on my bed, drink tea and read a Karen Kingsbury novel (days that only exist in my dreams these days- demands of growing up)

Have you ever been exhausted with a relationship, 5 yrs later and you ask yourself, How did i get here (because it has become a boring place and the emotions are gone)?

How about your job, when you go, why on earth am I even here? This is the worst and most boring job on earth.

Or life. To think it has almost everything you thought you wanted but it seems so empty and you are sad.

It was really not your fault (or anybody's) , all these things just became too normal to be exciting, they became boring and regular and tiring and you almost want to ask yourself " how could I ever want this, what was wrong with me?"

 

Rewind a little while before we got that and you would not believe the excitement we had about them.Take your brain back a few years or months or whenever.

Like the Job and the day we got the employment letter, the screams of excitement. 

The relationship, the day he asked you out and you felt butterflies (like OMG!!! this guy is going to be mine)

Or  Guys, the day you asked her out and she said yes; how you had lumps in your throat and the little fear that she might say no (even the baddest guys have this and yes!!!! i am sure)   or the feeling of accomplishment when she said yes. 

How were we so excited about something before and how does it get to the point when it seems old and boring and draggy and usual and what on earth is this (am i the only one that wonders how this happens).

Sometimes when we are having a little of this "unhappy situation" and someone around us is excited about getting something, the demon in us goes " you will soon be unhappy with this situation". 

Sometimes we are mean enough to say it to their face (we say it as if it is out of concern) but our hearts know better, the questions go like this-

 Are you sure you want to take that job?

Are you sure you want to date that guy?, you know good boys can be boring and i know you ( ah ahn)

I know the job is good o, but do you want to stay in that state?

Or the job is good o, but are you sure you want the stress?

Then our memories become really sharp and we simply and stress lessly remember sad stories about similar situations. The best part (sad really)  is how we end it, " don't worry your own will be different", I'm sure it won't happen to you". (Like the message hasn't been dropped already).

Back to the topic ( I tend to be a good diverter)

How do we get to the point of hating what we once loved?

How did that which made us smile, become the reason for a permanent frown?

How does love turn to hate?

 

I do not know (If you expected an answer, I am sorry to disappoint)

While I cannot say how we get there as the routes are as different as every individual and situation, the destination is almost always the same (tired, angry, suffocating and needing a way out).

 I can attempt something else (No promises, but no harm in trying right).

I think reflecting on it from the old view helps.

But at least, I can attempt to say how to get back on track.

 Remember how you felt on day one, how it felt to open the mail and see the employment offer, how it felt to be looked at by Bae, Babe, Baby ( whatever you choose to call yourselves).

Sometimes, it takes seeing things from a new eye, like re-evaluating.seeing it from the way you saw it the first day, remembering why it excited you and finding what made hat moment great to you. Like a little rewinding clock. No one can do it for you, but you can do it for you. There's always that memory that would make us smile again and maybe that is the starting point.

Its important to keep our mental time machine ready to go back or forward to what lies ahead.

Worst case, remind yourself of the scarcity of jobs, or good guys/ chicks or how long and sad it will be to find a replacement.

 This is where my theory and post really started from.

To get us ready and excited for the Easter events, my church made a one minute film to summarise the essence of Easter.

 One minute i repeat, but it was so strong it made people around me cry, tears streaming down and all. 

 It was a sudden realisation of what Easter meant, nothing we din't know but a fresh look and it changed my view of easter.

My Easter was a long something, so i shall break it down to 3 parts. A series??? (err I doubt, Just  3 stories of the Easter holiday events that are not really connected).

Today, I started from pre-Easter (I hope there is a word like this)

Have you ever wanted to give up on something, how did you find your way back? Please share, we all need to learn more ways,

Remember to use the mental time machine and  by any means necessary, Live life.

We will pick the next part of Easter up Thursday. Remember to follow by e-mail .

Where Women Stand

I read with utter shock the story of the Saudi woman who was raped by 7 men (not 1, 2 ,3 ,4,5 or 6, a whole 7 ). Instead of helping her go through the trauma, convicting the men and arraigning them before a gun squad, she was publicly flogged for going out without male company, she protested this and was flogged 200 times in public . My head has scrambled.

( Give me a minute to understand this please) .

(I still don’t get it, but waiting for me to will take forever. So let’s move on)

But really, Why?

Did someone ask again why March 8th is marked as International Women’s day?

I know the day has passed, but this is my next post after it and I dare say this day  deserves to be everyday in the life of every woman/ human.

Let’s go back a little while.

There was a time when women could not work or vote. They had to dress a certain way in public. They could not complain about how their husbands treated them and they were subject to his wishes.

Women woke up and said no. They fought hard and those amazing women won.

Thanks to them women now have jobs, own cars cars,  bank accounts, and property. Women can now drink or smoke if we want to. Women  can now apply to study certain courses and can even  file for divorce ( not like it is supposed to be but the option is now available, not in that way, my point is the freedom we have).

(The simple things we take for granted these days)

Thanks to them being a woman doesn't seem like a curse but a blessing. Thanks to them we can now scream the power of a woman.

The real thing to think about is this: Are things for women the best they can be? 

NO

Firstly, not when in some countries women are still treated that way. Not when women in some offices work as hard as the men but do not get the promotions they are due. Not when some men still feel insulted if their boss is a woman  (not like I blame some of them, women can be--women) or how ballistic some men go if a woman gets a promotion before they do, forgetting how much harder than them she worked.

I am really proud of Rima Karaki who showed women how it is done. This TV host and university professor, cut off a scholar on national TV some days ago for making demeaning  statements about how she was beneath interviewing him. After cutting him off from the live broadcast, she said “In this studio, I run the show.” (a standing ovation please). I hope she gets an award soon.

Secondly, Women need to know that we have come too far to still be stuck , some of this women are

·        1.  Women in abusive relationships, who are beaten, bruised and even harassed emotionally ( the thinking that he is too good for me or I am lucky to have him because he is above me ). A relationship should be about mutual love and respect.

·         2. Women who want to chase their passions but the society expects them to act a certain way, so you hold back.

·       3.   Girls whose families give them out for marriage in exchange of financial benefits (to send her brothers to school).

     The International Women’s day ( which I have decided should be a everyday in my entire life) is to remind us that the fight is not over.  Some women fought to bring us this far, we need to extend that hand. How?

1.       Tell our friends that it is OK to dump the guys that treat them like tramp.

2.       Go to our friends house and help them move out if they are victims of repeated domestic violence.

3.       Speak up in our offices if we are disregarded by men.

4.       Talk to young girls about having dreams and not letting anyone shut them down.

5.       Stand up against marrying off of young girls in our neighborhood and families.

6.       Sponsoring the education of  young girl we know is interested in school but her family cannot afford it.

7.       Treat your house helps like women that they are.

The title of this year’s women day by UN was/ is "Empowering Women, Empowering Humanity: Picture it!"

Empower a woman in your life throughout this year- emotionally, spiritually, physically. This “fight is not over” not until the day when no girl in the world is hit or raped or insulted and Every woman is treated with respect.

Let us know, let our friends know, let our daughters grow to know. Women have come too far to take a step back.

I know I sounded angry, I am not. Just worried that things are not right yet.

Please share your view on Women’s freedom and empowering a woman?

Everywoman has a right to by all means live life and be happy.

Last Minute Valentine

So the Federal Government decided to cramp my style by cancelling election, now my Valection is gone. Here I was awaiting stories.

While I wonder why they ruined what would have been a once in a lifetime experience, I forgive them. Life is too short to be angry at anybody let alone someone who will not notice my anger or be sad I am angry and try to make it up to me. No please, my anger is too precious.

Back to Valentine. :) 

The first thing I remember about valentine happened when I was 8  yrs old. My mom asked my dad, won’t you give me a flower and his reply was “only flower? There is a flower pot in front of the house, I will bring it inside for you” and they laughed .That evening, we ate out and we all got gifts, (the main reason I remember). I don’t know what my mom got, because her gift was not opened to the eager eyes of my brother and I.

Next up secondary school, with notes, teddy bears and an evening full of screams from all over the hostels.

University was different strokes for different folks. Those in "inter- state" relationships who imported their Bae(s), those in “same state relationships” who exported their Bae(s) to wherever it was happening, those who had gifts or dinners and those who just wanted a quiet evening.

I have never gone through my mind to define the meaning of valentine to me. Sometimes I hate it (as most single ladies do), sometimes I love it (as most girls in relationships do)

P.S- My love and hate has never been based on my relationship status. No sire, I hate it because of how it makes single people feel and I love it because it makes people happy.

Valentine-Love/Hate thing

Whatever the case, there is always love to celebrate, God’s love, parents love, partners love or most importantly self love. I think what really matters is getting the person you love to feel special- husband/wife, boyfriend/ girlfriend, mother/father, sister/brother, dog/cat, SELF/teddy bear. Whatever it is, make it happy and aware that it is appreciated. 
If you will be doing it for routine, skip it, except if Bae will give you hell, then by all means.

As the day quickly approaches (to our surprise. Thank you GEJ) , I thought to just say that it really is not about buying gifts to fulfill all righteousness, it really is about doing something for Bae(Before anyone/anything else), Boo(Boo... sorry I don’t know but I’ll find out), SO (Special One) to celebrate your love.

Whatever you do, ensure it matters to them. Check on their zodiac signs and temperaments to find their interests and desires that you might have missed (yes, love is hard work, if someone gives you their heart, it is no joke). If you have no money, find something "moneyless".  

It might just be a massage or a day to watch some old school movie in a dark room while eating all day long, or an opportunity to sleep all day long, or eat a whole cake alone (yes some people have such strange desires).

Remember, "the best things are not the most expensive, but those that come from the heart"-Quote by Me (hope no one has ever said it, it seems regular though).

What is your best/worst valentine or what is your dream one?  Remember to share something, anything.

Ciao.

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