Nature's Identity Crisis

There is a reason we have holidays, so we can rest from work and have fun.

While fun means different things to different people- Reading a book, watching a movie, cooking and sleeping, I think there is a need to find fun in stepping out, going out to do something. For help on that, please read an earlier article, The Bucket list.

When I was growing up, my family moved to Jos. My elder brothers were in secondary school, leaving my parents, my younger brother and I. Great times.

Every Sunday, after church we would dress in hiking clothes, jeans, shirts and trainers and head to a new rock location that my dad would have spotted over the week. It was an exciting routine.

We would climb a hilly rock for about 30 minutes, with our board games, football, camera and well packed picnic.

I loved those times and I am still drawn to nature.

On my way home for the Easter, I realized that while I do not have all the money in the world(yet) , I still want to travel and see things. I realized that careful planning is all it really takes, 

I want to start from this Christmas (fingers crossed). Life is too short to not see the world (please note that the world starts from outside your door, the world is not in the movies or novels, you have to step out to see it).

A lot of people think they have to travel out and their budget bla bla, but there are beautiful places in Nigeria if you are willing, here are  a few

1. Kajuru Castle Kaduna

2. Yankari game reserve Bauchi

3. Obudu ranch in Cross river

4. Gurara water falls, Niger state

There are also a lot of travelling agencies, Brisk Nigeria, Wakanow, or other deals on deal dey and booking early helps.

And there are a lot more. It is just the 4^th month of the year, and a little dedicated savings a month can take you a long way.

In the love for nature, my friends invited me to head to Gurara water falls in Niger state.

So on Saturday 04/04/2015 we planned to head down. Before the journey began, we went to get a few things we would need. We drove into a store to get them. 

While driving in we read a disclaimer that said loosing the card attracted a fine of N10,000, we laughed at how ridiculous the price was and went in, only to misplace our own card (what is it they say about power of the tongue, lool).

Well to cut the long story short, we spent about an hour sorting it out, by we; I meant the guys, and the ladies remained in the cars. 

(To say it mildly I sat meekly, but I hated that, why could I not be inside with the guys finding a solution and filling the forms. I felt really boxed and I buzzed their phones, but going in meant getting hate eyes from the other girls; who does this girl think she is??? Women issues, to be handled soon) and having some of the guys think this girl is stubborn o, why can't she just sit in the car?).

We (they) sorted that out and hit the road. Just as we got there and were settling, some of our friends strolled further away and we heard screams and my friends came back shaken, someone had just drowned.

We strolled towards the group, young people like us, who had come to have some of natures peace and quiet, they had gone into the water to swim, and as they were getting ready to go, their friend was coming out of the water and started drowning (maybe he lost a footing). 

One of the “water guards” tried to pull him up, but he started pulling him in instead and he had to let go.

Two of my friends and I gathered around the water to pray for a miracle (I still pray will come). The guy never came back up till his friends left, and so they drove home without him. I wondered who will go to his house door to tell his family, 

How would they find the strength to travel home safely?

Its been 5 days and I am still not over it, the times you want to ask God why, but he understand things better.

Talk about an Identity Crisis.

                         

So you love nature but it can be dangerous, tornadoes, tsunamis. Beautiful and yet deadly (talk about trying to figure out your identity) , that is natures war and we cannot stop it, we also cannot live locked because you never know.

With nature; it is a love hate thing.

Nature has its own Identity crisis, to be loving or to be fighting.

To allow them have fun and go or to bring out the evil roar.

Even nature has its own Identity Crisis.

I want to be angry at nature, but I know just like me, it has its own struggles.

Then again, God made the earth (beautiful) but now, the devil runs it (talk about that mean guy, what do you expect)

I do not know if that would scare or encourage you to explore nature, but live while you can, enjoy the beauty of the earth, by all means live life.

I know this is a sad story, feel free to say whatever you feel in the comment box.

also share how you have managed finances to enable you go on  a vacation.

My vacation, story 2, story 1 here

The Vacation part 3 comes up on Tuesday. See you then.

Remember to Live life.

(I hope you start making plans, so by January we can take turns to share vacation stories).

Mental time machine

Why did today have to be Tuesday, because today is one of those days where I just wanted it to rain all day while I lie down on my bed, drink tea and read a Karen Kingsbury novel (days that only exist in my dreams these days- demands of growing up)

Have you ever been exhausted with a relationship, 5 yrs later and you ask yourself, How did i get here (because it has become a boring place and the emotions are gone)?

How about your job, when you go, why on earth am I even here? This is the worst and most boring job on earth.

Or life. To think it has almost everything you thought you wanted but it seems so empty and you are sad.

It was really not your fault (or anybody's) , all these things just became too normal to be exciting, they became boring and regular and tiring and you almost want to ask yourself " how could I ever want this, what was wrong with me?"

 

Rewind a little while before we got that and you would not believe the excitement we had about them.Take your brain back a few years or months or whenever.

Like the Job and the day we got the employment letter, the screams of excitement. 

The relationship, the day he asked you out and you felt butterflies (like OMG!!! this guy is going to be mine)

Or  Guys, the day you asked her out and she said yes; how you had lumps in your throat and the little fear that she might say no (even the baddest guys have this and yes!!!! i am sure)   or the feeling of accomplishment when she said yes. 

How were we so excited about something before and how does it get to the point when it seems old and boring and draggy and usual and what on earth is this (am i the only one that wonders how this happens).

Sometimes when we are having a little of this "unhappy situation" and someone around us is excited about getting something, the demon in us goes " you will soon be unhappy with this situation". 

Sometimes we are mean enough to say it to their face (we say it as if it is out of concern) but our hearts know better, the questions go like this-

 Are you sure you want to take that job?

Are you sure you want to date that guy?, you know good boys can be boring and i know you ( ah ahn)

I know the job is good o, but do you want to stay in that state?

Or the job is good o, but are you sure you want the stress?

Then our memories become really sharp and we simply and stress lessly remember sad stories about similar situations. The best part (sad really)  is how we end it, " don't worry your own will be different", I'm sure it won't happen to you". (Like the message hasn't been dropped already).

Back to the topic ( I tend to be a good diverter)

How do we get to the point of hating what we once loved?

How did that which made us smile, become the reason for a permanent frown?

How does love turn to hate?

 

I do not know (If you expected an answer, I am sorry to disappoint)

While I cannot say how we get there as the routes are as different as every individual and situation, the destination is almost always the same (tired, angry, suffocating and needing a way out).

 I can attempt something else (No promises, but no harm in trying right).

I think reflecting on it from the old view helps.

But at least, I can attempt to say how to get back on track.

 Remember how you felt on day one, how it felt to open the mail and see the employment offer, how it felt to be looked at by Bae, Babe, Baby ( whatever you choose to call yourselves).

Sometimes, it takes seeing things from a new eye, like re-evaluating.seeing it from the way you saw it the first day, remembering why it excited you and finding what made hat moment great to you. Like a little rewinding clock. No one can do it for you, but you can do it for you. There's always that memory that would make us smile again and maybe that is the starting point.

Its important to keep our mental time machine ready to go back or forward to what lies ahead.

Worst case, remind yourself of the scarcity of jobs, or good guys/ chicks or how long and sad it will be to find a replacement.

 This is where my theory and post really started from.

To get us ready and excited for the Easter events, my church made a one minute film to summarise the essence of Easter.

 One minute i repeat, but it was so strong it made people around me cry, tears streaming down and all. 

 It was a sudden realisation of what Easter meant, nothing we din't know but a fresh look and it changed my view of easter.

My Easter was a long something, so i shall break it down to 3 parts. A series??? (err I doubt, Just  3 stories of the Easter holiday events that are not really connected).

Today, I started from pre-Easter (I hope there is a word like this)

Have you ever wanted to give up on something, how did you find your way back? Please share, we all need to learn more ways,

Remember to use the mental time machine and  by any means necessary, Live life.

We will pick the next part of Easter up Thursday. Remember to follow by e-mail .

Last Minute Valentine

So the Federal Government decided to cramp my style by cancelling election, now my Valection is gone. Here I was awaiting stories.

While I wonder why they ruined what would have been a once in a lifetime experience, I forgive them. Life is too short to be angry at anybody let alone someone who will not notice my anger or be sad I am angry and try to make it up to me. No please, my anger is too precious.

Back to Valentine. :) 

The first thing I remember about valentine happened when I was 8  yrs old. My mom asked my dad, won’t you give me a flower and his reply was “only flower? There is a flower pot in front of the house, I will bring it inside for you” and they laughed .That evening, we ate out and we all got gifts, (the main reason I remember). I don’t know what my mom got, because her gift was not opened to the eager eyes of my brother and I.

Next up secondary school, with notes, teddy bears and an evening full of screams from all over the hostels.

University was different strokes for different folks. Those in "inter- state" relationships who imported their Bae(s), those in “same state relationships” who exported their Bae(s) to wherever it was happening, those who had gifts or dinners and those who just wanted a quiet evening.

I have never gone through my mind to define the meaning of valentine to me. Sometimes I hate it (as most single ladies do), sometimes I love it (as most girls in relationships do)

P.S- My love and hate has never been based on my relationship status. No sire, I hate it because of how it makes single people feel and I love it because it makes people happy.

Valentine-Love/Hate thing

Whatever the case, there is always love to celebrate, God’s love, parents love, partners love or most importantly self love. I think what really matters is getting the person you love to feel special- husband/wife, boyfriend/ girlfriend, mother/father, sister/brother, dog/cat, SELF/teddy bear. Whatever it is, make it happy and aware that it is appreciated. 
If you will be doing it for routine, skip it, except if Bae will give you hell, then by all means.

As the day quickly approaches (to our surprise. Thank you GEJ) , I thought to just say that it really is not about buying gifts to fulfill all righteousness, it really is about doing something for Bae(Before anyone/anything else), Boo(Boo... sorry I don’t know but I’ll find out), SO (Special One) to celebrate your love.

Whatever you do, ensure it matters to them. Check on their zodiac signs and temperaments to find their interests and desires that you might have missed (yes, love is hard work, if someone gives you their heart, it is no joke). If you have no money, find something "moneyless".  

It might just be a massage or a day to watch some old school movie in a dark room while eating all day long, or an opportunity to sleep all day long, or eat a whole cake alone (yes some people have such strange desires).

Remember, "the best things are not the most expensive, but those that come from the heart"-Quote by Me (hope no one has ever said it, it seems regular though).

What is your best/worst valentine or what is your dream one?  Remember to share something, anything.

Ciao.

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The Ringless proposal

When can my family come to see yours? Can we pick a date before the end of the year? Will you get pregnant for me?? and that was how they got married without him getting on his knees and asking. I wonder thou, when he asked that question, did she scream in excitement or look at him lost. I’m one for the later.

So you have dated since forever or it has not been soo long but you feel like you knew each other from birth and you know you want to wife Bae. You are suddenly glad for those who walked out and had you crying to west life songs. You are even tempted to send a thank you note to them, if they had hung around you would not have met the one who your life revolves around (rolling eyes).

Added to this, your mum has been throwing side jabs- informing you about all her friends children getting married, how they are your age mates or younger. She will go beyond your life and even pick interest your friends relationships (show me the relationship status of your closest friends and i will predict their influence in yours) . Some include asking out rightly about your plans for the future or mentioning it while praying (they are talking to their God after all and not you) nice one mum, let’s not talk about the call on your birthday.

Back to the matter, you want to wife Bae and instead of a mind blowing proposal that will take you months to plan, keep you constantly in touch with Bae’s Bff  for advice, and allow you experience the night time panics caused by the fear of buying the wrong ring size or anything going wrongly. 

What do men do? 

They recite those lazy lines that began this post without the courtesy of a ring (pause to feel the impact of this action).

May i pls ask guys,what is so hard in getting on one knee all shaky, pouring out your heart with no reservations,getting schooled on the real meaning of nervousness and shedding a lil tears that will

hurt no one?

Maybe I had a coma and missed a couple of years, but when did talking about the number of kids and all that  become a synonym for a heart melting speech and a girls dream words “will you marry me?”

I mean what do you achieve by not doing a full blown, extravagant and very necessary proposal?  Bragging rights to say “ I never asked her to marry me,” or “me keh, kneel down for a woman”. Pls spare us the  priding and humble thyself.

In case you shall be Wifing a lady at any point in your life, pls take note about why thou should kneel, speech up and shed a tear-

    1.      Girl priding- most important. This is the cloud 9 feeling a girl has when her proposal pictures are going round and she is trending in her cycle. This involves people calling to hear the gist and say congrats, simply put, she is queen in the girl bliss world and every girl deserves this. 

    2.      Stories- Give her a story for the kids and grand kids about how you were nervous and how she did not see it coming and all the extras she might add to create a good- daddy really valued mummy story.

    3.      Memories- there is a feeling you will forever get when you remember that day, there will always be something to laugh about, and really considering it is a life time deal, you can never have enough of good moments, to help through the annoying times.

 When it comes to marriage, of course love and understanding matter the most, but is there a right  way to propose, is it ok for a guy to just say the few lines above or is a knee proposal necessary??

 what do you think?

   Remember to follow blog by entering your e-mail address below so you know whenever i dig up more trouble :) 

The Valection: 14th February 2015

So i took time out to think, Election on Valentine; good or bad.
First off, i think Valentine is one of those days when those in relationships want to go all out, be show offy and overly excited to the envy of their friends, they and their bobo's will take a million selfies till they find one where they both look cute. While those who are not will look at other peoples pictures, cry about their past relationships, remind themselves that the couple are definitely not as happy as the picture potray's (smart move) and re-examine their emotional state. I always avoid thinking about mine because in results in voluntary depression. If you also get depressed i suggest you join my train- avoid thinking.

It's no news that guys are very excited about the Valentine and election clash, but they should remember that a girl always has a back up plan. So on the contrary this will be a No excuse valentine.

I assume that on Friday the 13th (not the scary one) girls will be all packed from work to head to bobo's house for the long weekend. This moment can turn out in two ways.

Turn out 1- Time together
For those whose jobs are normally needier than day old babies, you get time together. There will be no having to  stop by the office. You have alllll day to yourselves. I mean, you can have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Catch up on all the fun things you see other couples do and always wish you could,cook together, watch a movie together, bla bla and ensure you keep take a lot of pictures, so you can release them gradually to the envy of your friends, for a better effect, you can change clothes during the day, so it looks like different days.  This is your time, make the best of it it.

 Turn out 2-Moment of truth
 It is a time to know the truth. Some will get to bobos house as a surprise  and meet another chick. I use the word another because we cannot be sure which one you are (the bae or the side chick). If this becomes your story, pls DO NOT FIGHT. Instead, become best friends over the weekend remember, both of you where very likely equally deceived. I suggest you and the other chick should- cook together, take over bobo's room, act like the best room mates in the world and help each other with your nails and hair. This my dear is called - A living hell fit for a deceptive man, then sit back and give yourself the valentine gift of watching him cringe and almost run mad, for extra effect mess around with his stuff, there is two of you and one of him. United we stand (a phrase created for a moment like this)

 Boxing Day Valentine
This valentine will be a Boxing day like Christmas. opening of gifts shall be the order of the day since everywhere will be closed and events are not getting planned
Gone is the usual valentine day with excuses or "emergencies"  or a last minute decision to take you to an unplanned  dinner  with a frown on his face that will make you spend the evening wondering why you are still in the relationship.
That is a thing of the past, this year is all planned for your good.
So what is your hearts desire? a car, an I phone 6, a tab, something to fuel your new hobby- a big make up box,  a wardrobe change, tennis or workout kit.
Sit back and await bobo's gift, but pls ehn expect with the Fear of God put bobo's pockets into consideration.
So very codedly and nicely start making your hearts desires known by sub- tweets, dps of exciting things, or get your Bff to start a conversation about something you love when he is there.
You have barely 2 weeks and salaries just got paid.

My single ladies
If however you are not in a relationship and you cannot trust one of your toasters to show up, i have a plan, get involved in voting and politics, its a good cover up. Act like you put your country first: Election before love and in case you must mention love, let it be about love for country.


With all these, I  gave up thinking Valentine election was a bad idea, i can't wait for the stories.

While i will be one of the election crazy ladies(aka boyfriendless), this will be the last year, i shall take next years valentine by storm and ensure i put up enough pictures to make even happy couples jealous. I hope the future bobo is getting ready.

P.S: Do take out time to vote. Show Nigeria love.



ciao
Rem to share your past valentine experiences or future predictions