Awele

I never met her and I never will. I knew her from pictures and she looked young and vibrant and happy.

You know those people whose pictures tell you a thousand words? (about how they are fun and exciting and can laugh in every moment)

 Well, she was one of them I guess; but I am almost certain. I have a feeling that if we ever met, we might have been friends.

Calm down , I am not famzing… not best friends, but at least cordial friends.

But we never met

We never met, because Awele left the world.

With all the energy still within her, she left.

On the 10^th of May, Awele was snatched away from this world by Sickle cell.

Awele had Sickle cell Anemia.

You can find out more about her by watching Awele’s Diary on You tube.

Every day Nigerians loose a friend ad loved one to Sickle cell. I watched from a distance as people mourned her and I could not even imagine their pain.

Having a sickler friend or family member is a hard thing.

You watch them have a crisis,

 You watch them scream in pain,

You watch the live a nightmare time and time again and you try to be strong for them,

You watch them through the pills and drips, you say a prayer and you trust.

Then for a while they are good and strong and you say “ oooo, maybe they are done with it for life” and if you know any of them, you know that they live in every moment when they are on their feet , they are so full of life and that makes you love them even more.

Then one day, you wake up and hear they are in the hospital, or maybe you even walk them in, hoping to walkout soon, but they never follow you out.

God bless the upcoming Dr. that will find a cure.

God bless the Dr.’s currently working on it.

I pray one day, there will be a way to end this misery permanently.

Tilll then…….

What do you say to a friend whose genotype is AS and wants to marry someone whose genotype is also AS.?

My friend’s friend is in this situation and so we were talking about it and the right approach- We couldn’t find any.

A part of you wants to shout “ARE YOU MAD? What about the future?

What will happen to the kids and the pain they will live life with?

What burden and sadness do you want to put on the friends they will meet?”

Then while telling you about how they love the guy, they use the words- FAITH

In that moment, you pause and you are short for words,

Because those grounds are holy and you have to thread carefully.

Faith,- that single word.

They have faith God will see them through and they will have healthy babies.

Today, I have a few questions

1.    What do you say to a friend who has faith?

      2.       What will happen if the first 2 babies are SS (I think they check that from even when the woman is pregnant) will you terminate time and time again? How will you cope if you have to do that?

What do you think???

I find it inexcusable for anyone in this day, age, time or  moment in human existence etc.  to walk around without knowing your genotype. There have been a lot of campaigns for that by the SCAF- Sickle Cell Aid Foundation-

#Break the sickle Cycle

#Know your Genotype.

#Test your new born kids.

Knowing your genotype is not for fun, it’s so you can do the right thing which is #Breakthecycle. When you are still in the level of friends, before love comes in, especially if your genotype is already AS, please ask. Please be sure

Rest In Peace Awele.

May God comfort her family and friends and use her story to wake people up to the reality, dangers and pain of bringing a child with Sickle Cell to the world. 

Mind Your Business- Hell no

I woke up to somebody on my BBM using this as his DP.

  So on my way to work, I thought about this.

Mind my business?? Helllllllll NOOOOOO.

If I mind my business, how can I be aware of gossip around?

 If I mind my business how can I hear the latest?

 If I mind my business how can I know the highest paying jobs? (to find eligible young men, fit for a princess)

If I mind my business, how can I be involved in every other person’s life? (look at it positively)

I refuse to mind my business please.

I want to know who is dating who.

Who has broken up with who?, who has a new job? and who is going for an interview?

I want to know who is vacationing? and with who?

I want to be a minister of information.

                              

                                       

                                            Okay that was my rude alter-ego honest side.

Up next,  is the side I explain to humans to look decent, human and Christian.

If I mind my business, how can I put a smile on someone’s face?

If I mind my business, how can I know if my neighbor is hurting?

If I mind my business, who will pester my friends till they can smile?

If I mind my business, how can I be relevant to the world?

If I mind my business, how do i find fulfillment?

If i mind my business, how can I be me??????

So I decided-   Me keh, mind my business? Lie lie.

Please I want to be very involved.

Justin Beiber became rich because he sang Ushers song, he did not mind his business.

Oshiomole met the young wife because she did not mind her business, maybe she served him on a flight.

Linda Ikeji we all know, because she writes about other people’s life, she did not mind her business.

If you minded your business, would you read my blog? NO (the more reason why you should not mind your business)

In the present world of “me, myself and I”…the issue of minding ones business is deeper than ever. It is suddenly turning to an “I don’t care, whatever”… and this hurts.

 How many times have we sat close to someone hiding tears and just an “all will be well” will go a long way, but we did not even notice.

How many times have we missed an opportunity that we should have jumped on because we are too busy- minding our business.

I do not think minding your business and pock nosing (yes, it is an English word) are the same thing. 

There are limits to everything and I guess we all know to keep the boundaries.

Please mind your neighbour business a little bit. Just be sure they are fine. We owe humanity that much.

No one minding their own business ever did achieved much.

Incase you don't know, you have to mind other peoples businesses to find opportunities and money making ventures. Infact, minding other peoples business is a matter of life.

Check Jesus out. He was everywhere, minding everyone’s business- the sick, the sad and all.

2,000 years later and his majesty still reigns.

 Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther; they all lived minding peoples business and we still celebrate them.

Today I leave with few words- Mind everybody’s business. The thoughts on a Babes mind.

Remember to live, love and laugh.

Kidnapped

Have you ever been kidnapped?

Well I have.

Not the “we have your daughter and we are not returning her till you pay an outrageous sum of money” Kidnap.

 In all honesty any kidnapper that will try that will be wasting a good kidnapping avenue, because my parents have nothing but prayers to offer (Prayers is always good enough, but that’s not what the Kidnappers want, especially since the prayers will definitely not wish them well)

I am sorry, I always divert (You should be used to it though)

I was kidnapped by my friend, a guy who liked me in school.

His friend was out of town and he needed to get something from my neighbor, exams had ended and everyone was planning to head home.

The friend, let’s call him  Ash ( Why? err, because I can and the name ain’t bad) and the one that liked me –Kid (shortened from kidnapper). Try to remember the characters.

Ash asked me if I could help get something from my neighbor who was leaving and drop it off at his house with Kid since I would be passing by. I agreed, after all, it was an in and out (If only I knew).

When I got to the house Kid had visitors that were just leaving.Immediately they stepped out, he locked the door. I wanted to go out and he said No (I thought this was a joke, till he walked away with the key.

His reason- he wanted me to be with him, he promised not to touch me, and he did not (thank God, even though I prayed so hard and I am sure my mom was too). He said he just wanted me to spend time with him as that is what he had always wanted from me – time.

To cut four hours short-  I struggled for the key, formed vex, sat closed up in a corner and hid away my tears for 4 hours( he could not see my cry and then feel victorious).

During this time, he kept asking me if I wanted to eat, if I was comfortable, if I was angry (who would not be), if I wanted to kill him (why not) and how he was really sorry and I should forgive him.

He even offered me food and opened the window so I could scream to the neighbours (If that would make me feel better, though he knew no one would send).

I do not know how to feel, glad he was not touching me or sad that I was with a psychopath (who else would kidnap a girl, be begging for forgiveness and expect a smile ooo  and also not touch her(thank God thou), except in Novels, which I blamed myself for reading)

Ash came back from his journey by 10:00pm (he was my price charming in shining armor as I had no idea he was going to back that day)  and set me free, he was really sorry and mad at his friend.

He called all week long to say how sorry he was. Nice guy.

Note that Kid did not touch or harass me, but he locked me up, for hours 4, I mean FOUR GODDAMN HOURS.( Just in case you want to for detective and see how dumb I was, he took my phone from me and yes, even if I was a dumb girl, my adrenaline made me smart and still- Nothing worked)

He was not a stranger to me either, but I felt humiliated.

Considering I already have a terrible sleeping habit. I did not get any sleep that nigh (though I was back to the comfort of my home). I thought of all the things that could have gone wrong.

That is why I cannot imagine Chibok girls, what they might be going through, if they are alive?, how they have wept and what life would have been for them over the last year.

Their mates have gotten into universities, and they are what? Wives of heartless demons?

Are they even alive?

Do they have any hope?

Do they still believe in God?

Should any teenager go through this?

I have had a 4 hours kidnap experience and I still hate the thought of it (though it is a funny story now). Talk more of a year.

What do you think or have to say?

There is no good way to think of kidnap, it is bad in everyway. Imagine waiting for someone, the anger, the agitation, then imagine it against your will. That still has nothing on kidnap.

Nothing in this world does.

The part 3 of Easter had to do with Fast and Furious and how we remembered that Paul Walker had gone, but this morning was day 365 of Chibok girls. I am sorry, but I chose that over.

Paul Walker I will miss but considering there is a plan from how 7 ended for a part 8, the world has moved on (deep breath), It always does.

Last Minute Valentine

So the Federal Government decided to cramp my style by cancelling election, now my Valection is gone. Here I was awaiting stories.

While I wonder why they ruined what would have been a once in a lifetime experience, I forgive them. Life is too short to be angry at anybody let alone someone who will not notice my anger or be sad I am angry and try to make it up to me. No please, my anger is too precious.

Back to Valentine. :) 

The first thing I remember about valentine happened when I was 8  yrs old. My mom asked my dad, won’t you give me a flower and his reply was “only flower? There is a flower pot in front of the house, I will bring it inside for you” and they laughed .That evening, we ate out and we all got gifts, (the main reason I remember). I don’t know what my mom got, because her gift was not opened to the eager eyes of my brother and I.

Next up secondary school, with notes, teddy bears and an evening full of screams from all over the hostels.

University was different strokes for different folks. Those in "inter- state" relationships who imported their Bae(s), those in “same state relationships” who exported their Bae(s) to wherever it was happening, those who had gifts or dinners and those who just wanted a quiet evening.

I have never gone through my mind to define the meaning of valentine to me. Sometimes I hate it (as most single ladies do), sometimes I love it (as most girls in relationships do)

P.S- My love and hate has never been based on my relationship status. No sire, I hate it because of how it makes single people feel and I love it because it makes people happy.

Valentine-Love/Hate thing

Whatever the case, there is always love to celebrate, God’s love, parents love, partners love or most importantly self love. I think what really matters is getting the person you love to feel special- husband/wife, boyfriend/ girlfriend, mother/father, sister/brother, dog/cat, SELF/teddy bear. Whatever it is, make it happy and aware that it is appreciated. 
If you will be doing it for routine, skip it, except if Bae will give you hell, then by all means.

As the day quickly approaches (to our surprise. Thank you GEJ) , I thought to just say that it really is not about buying gifts to fulfill all righteousness, it really is about doing something for Bae(Before anyone/anything else), Boo(Boo... sorry I don’t know but I’ll find out), SO (Special One) to celebrate your love.

Whatever you do, ensure it matters to them. Check on their zodiac signs and temperaments to find their interests and desires that you might have missed (yes, love is hard work, if someone gives you their heart, it is no joke). If you have no money, find something "moneyless".  

It might just be a massage or a day to watch some old school movie in a dark room while eating all day long, or an opportunity to sleep all day long, or eat a whole cake alone (yes some people have such strange desires).

Remember, "the best things are not the most expensive, but those that come from the heart"-Quote by Me (hope no one has ever said it, it seems regular though).

What is your best/worst valentine or what is your dream one?  Remember to share something, anything.

Ciao.

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The Ringless proposal

When can my family come to see yours? Can we pick a date before the end of the year? Will you get pregnant for me?? and that was how they got married without him getting on his knees and asking. I wonder thou, when he asked that question, did she scream in excitement or look at him lost. I’m one for the later.

So you have dated since forever or it has not been soo long but you feel like you knew each other from birth and you know you want to wife Bae. You are suddenly glad for those who walked out and had you crying to west life songs. You are even tempted to send a thank you note to them, if they had hung around you would not have met the one who your life revolves around (rolling eyes).

Added to this, your mum has been throwing side jabs- informing you about all her friends children getting married, how they are your age mates or younger. She will go beyond your life and even pick interest your friends relationships (show me the relationship status of your closest friends and i will predict their influence in yours) . Some include asking out rightly about your plans for the future or mentioning it while praying (they are talking to their God after all and not you) nice one mum, let’s not talk about the call on your birthday.

Back to the matter, you want to wife Bae and instead of a mind blowing proposal that will take you months to plan, keep you constantly in touch with Bae’s Bff  for advice, and allow you experience the night time panics caused by the fear of buying the wrong ring size or anything going wrongly. 

What do men do? 

They recite those lazy lines that began this post without the courtesy of a ring (pause to feel the impact of this action).

May i pls ask guys,what is so hard in getting on one knee all shaky, pouring out your heart with no reservations,getting schooled on the real meaning of nervousness and shedding a lil tears that will

hurt no one?

Maybe I had a coma and missed a couple of years, but when did talking about the number of kids and all that  become a synonym for a heart melting speech and a girls dream words “will you marry me?”

I mean what do you achieve by not doing a full blown, extravagant and very necessary proposal?  Bragging rights to say “ I never asked her to marry me,” or “me keh, kneel down for a woman”. Pls spare us the  priding and humble thyself.

In case you shall be Wifing a lady at any point in your life, pls take note about why thou should kneel, speech up and shed a tear-

    1.      Girl priding- most important. This is the cloud 9 feeling a girl has when her proposal pictures are going round and she is trending in her cycle. This involves people calling to hear the gist and say congrats, simply put, she is queen in the girl bliss world and every girl deserves this. 

    2.      Stories- Give her a story for the kids and grand kids about how you were nervous and how she did not see it coming and all the extras she might add to create a good- daddy really valued mummy story.

    3.      Memories- there is a feeling you will forever get when you remember that day, there will always be something to laugh about, and really considering it is a life time deal, you can never have enough of good moments, to help through the annoying times.

 When it comes to marriage, of course love and understanding matter the most, but is there a right  way to propose, is it ok for a guy to just say the few lines above or is a knee proposal necessary??

 what do you think?

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